God Returned My Sanity

I was born into a dysfunctional Catholic family. My mother was very codependent, and my father was an alcoholic. When I was about five years old, they divorced.

After the divorce, I spent every other weekend with my father. He remarried soon afterward. Even at a young age, I felt abandoned because of my father and his new wife's alcoholism. I would be put in my room with a couple of toys and left to my own devices. This was in the 1970s, so the toys were mostly blocks and whatever else was lying around. I didn't have much at that house.

One time, while I was left alone, I got into my father's shaving kit and cut myself very badly. I remember that shortly afterward, my mother asked him to surrender his parental rights so that her new husband could adopt me.

My mother remarried a man who worked for my grandmother as a projectionist at a drive-in movie theater. Before they got married, my relationship with him was wonderful. He treated me like his own son. I never wanted for anything. But after they got married, he became a monster. He immediately began abusing me mentally, psychologically, and sexually. The abuse continued until I was about 10 or 12 years old.

That began my path of self-destruction.

I started acting out in school just to get attention. It didn't matter whether it was positive or negative—I simply craved attention. Once I got out of school, my addiction exploded. After I graduated, I got a job in the printing industry, working with a group of alcoholics, and I quickly became one myself.

I carried my alcohol and drug addiction through most of my adult life, until I was 35 years old. At age 32, I entered a 28-day rehab program. I did it because I was trying to save my marriage, my relationship with my children, my house, my car, and every other physical possession I had. I hadn't done it for myself.

When I got out of rehab, I stayed sober for five months. I couldn't deal with life on life's terms, so I started using again. I used every day for another three years.

At 35, I entered another 28-day treatment program. This time, I did what I was told. I started attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I started getting honest. I began to look at myself, and I started to develop a relationship with a Higher Power.

What I saw was a shell of the person I had once been. The thought of going through a single day without alcohol or drugs terrified me.

So, on December 27, 2007, I surrendered.

I had just gone through Christmas with nobody wanting me around. I couldn't bear the thought of spending New Year's Eve the same way. I wanted to die, but I was too afraid to attempt suicide. So I checked back into rehab on December 27.

Growing up Catholic, I always believed in God. But I was also taught to believe that God was angry and condemning—especially toward a sinner like me.

As I worked through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I learned that I could rebuild my relationship with God. God had always been the Higher Power I chose.

I started praying every day. At first, my prayers were very simple: "God, help me." Then I began praying for acceptance and for the willingness to remain teachable. I also prayed for God to replace my will with His. Every day, I asked Him to remove my character defects.

As I continued to pray and ask God for help, I realized that the angry, condemning God I had feared didn't exist. The God I was praying to was patient, loving, and compassionate. I came to realize that He only wanted what was best for me.

Learning to trust God was—and sometimes still is—difficult, especially in financial situations.

About a year and a half ago, I realized that while the program of Alcoholics Anonymous was keeping me sober, I needed something more to deepen my relationship with God. My wife and I started looking at churches and eventually found Grace Church. It was only the second church we visited, but from the very beginning, we felt like family.

It didn't take long for us to get involved. We attended Meet the Dream Team shortly after we joined, and both of us became very active in the church. We also attended Freedom, and that experience cemented our decision.

As my involvement in church grew and my faith became stronger, I realized that God had been with me my entire life. Even when I didn't believe in Him, or when I was angry at Him for allowing my life to become what it had, He never left me.

He carried me through every scrape of my addiction. Through every car accident. Through every DUI. Through every close call.

He was with me all along.

And I never knew it.

God Reconnected Me with My Daughter

Trauma separated my teenage daughter and me more than five years ago. During that time, I held on to my faith, trusting God for healing and restoration. I continually prayed over her and spoke Scripture over her life.

I participated in multiple prayer groups, including one dedicated to praying for my children. I have also been deeply blessed by the prayers of friends, family, church leaders, and many other believers who faithfully stood with me.

This past March, at my son's wedding, God reconnected my daughter and me. It was an answer to years of prayer and a beautiful reminder of His faithfulness.

I continue to trust that God will bring complete healing and full restoration to both of us, and that He will bring freedom and deliverance into her life.

I thank God for His faithfulness, and I thank Him for all of the prayer warriors who have faithfully gone into battle with me through prayer. I know their prayers have made a difference, and I give God all the glory.

God Restored My Marriage

When I became part of Grace Church, it was during a season when life didn't make sense. My wife and I were separated, and we were living apart from each other. Because of a difficult family situation—not infidelity, I should add—my wife and children were living with her parents.

I came to Grace Church broken, confused, and afraid. Even in the middle of all the uncertainty, I had an undeniable sense that God was with me. Looking back over my life, I could see God's faithfulness. His character and His track record had proven that He had always been with me through every difficult and challenging season. This situation was no different.

Was it hard? Absolutely. But instead of running from God like I had in the past, I chose to run toward Him. I trusted Him even when I couldn't see what He was doing.

At Grace, I found genuine brotherhood through Pastor Wilson and Pastor Colton. They saw something in me, encouraged me, and gave me the opportunity to use my gifts in music ministry by serving on the worship team. Their support helped strengthen my faith during one of the hardest seasons of my life.

A little over a year later, God restored my marriage and brought my family back together. Today, we are living under the same roof again, and I am grateful for His faithfulness.

God is always in control and is "our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1). I look forward to continuing to see the Lord do what He does so well—bringing hope, healing, and restoration to the lives of His children.

Jesus Saved My Life and Restored My Mental Health

I was raised in the Jehovah's Witnesses, a belief system that I now recognize as a cult. I renounced it when I was about 12 years old. After that, I spent years trying to fill the emptiness in my life, not realizing that what I was truly searching for was God.

Instead, I tried to fill that void with drugs, alcohol, sex, and anything else that made me feel good in the moment. If I was sober and alone, I can't count how many times I thought about ending my life. I remember one day standing in my kitchen, looking down the barrel of my 9mm handgun, believing there was no hope.

I accepted Jesus years ago, but through no fault of the church I was attending, I never became grounded in God's Word. I was left to figure out much of my faith on my own, and the people I surrounded myself with in the church were not healthy influences. Eventually, I drifted back into my old lifestyle.

Years later, I found sobriety through Alcoholics Anonymous, but I still knew something was missing. Recovery gave me freedom from addiction, but only Jesus could fill the emptiness in my heart.

When I turned back to God and renewed my relationship with Jesus, everything began to change. He didn't just restore my faith—He restored my mind. The hopelessness that once consumed me was replaced with peace, purpose, and hope.

Over the last several years, God has faithfully placed godly people in my life who have encouraged me, discipled me, and pointed me toward Him. Their influence has helped me grow into the person I am today.

Jesus truly saved my life. He rescued me from addiction, restored my mental health, and gave me a future filled with hope. I am forever grateful for His grace, His mercy, and His unfailing love.

God Was Calling Me All Along

Looking back, I believe I've always been curious about God. I've always wondered why I'm here, how life began, and where everything we see and experience came from.

My parents were both raised in church—one in a Catholic family and the other in a Baptist family. For reasons I still don't fully understand, they didn't continue attending church or practicing their faith as adults. Because of that, my siblings and I weren't exposed to church or conversations about God while growing up.

As a child, I started noticing that many of my friends' families went to church on Sundays. Sometimes they couldn't play because they were at church, or I had to leave early because they had CCD classes or other church activities. I realized they had a rhythm and foundation that my family didn't have.

Eventually, friends invited me to church services, church fairs, and children's programs. Since I was only visiting, I often felt like I had walked into the middle of a story. The teachers handed out Bible lesson pamphlets and talked about people and events that everyone else seemed to understand, but I felt like I was missing huge pieces of the puzzle.

As I got older, I attended church services with friends and extended family. One service was at a Korean church, and although I couldn't understand a single word because it was in another language, I had a powerful emotional experience. Later, as a young adult, I attended a Pentecostal service with family and again found myself overwhelmed with emotion. I broke down in tears without understanding why and was quickly brought to the altar. At the time, I felt embarrassed because I couldn't explain what I was experiencing.

Life moved on. I became busy with work and raising my own children, and my search for God took a back seat.

Then, last year, I felt a strong desire to learn more about Jesus. I decided to start reading the Bible, and I also began watching The Chosen. As I learned more about Jesus, I realized this was what had been missing from my life all along.

Around that same time, one of my coworkers noticed the change in me and invited me to Grace Church for a baptism service. I immediately knew that was my next step.

Over the past year, I have grown in my faith and learned so much about God—things I had wondered about since I was a child. For the first time, the pieces began to come together.

Now I understand that those emotional experiences I had years ago weren't random, and I wasn't simply overwhelmed or having an emotional breakdown. It was the Holy Spirit reaching out to me, drawing me closer, and welcoming me with open arms long before I even understood who He was.

I am so grateful for everything God has taught me, for the people He has placed in my life, and for the church family I have found. I'm excited to continue growing in my relationship with Jesus, learning more about His Word, and experiencing the incredible love that only He can give.

I Found God... Every Day

When I first started thinking about what I Found God story I would share for this series, my first thought was, I don't have a good enough story.

I thought maybe I needed one dramatic moment—a huge transformation that would leave everyone inspired.

Don't get me wrong. God has done incredible things in my life. He's healed my heart, restored what was broken, and transformed me in ways only He could.

But as I encouraged others to share their stories for this series, I realized something.

Maybe I needed to lead by example.

Because sometimes the greatest testimony isn't found in one extraordinary moment. Sometimes it's found in an extraordinary relationship that is lived out every ordinary day.

People often say that what makes a relationship last isn't the grand vacations, expensive gifts, or once-in-a-lifetime moments. It's the everyday conversations. The consistency. The small moments of connection.

That's what my relationship with God is like.

He's not just the God of my biggest breakthrough.

He's the God of my Tuesday morning.

When I wake up each day, I begin talking with Him before my feet even hit the floor. As I'm getting ready, I walk through my schedule with Him. I invite Him into every meeting, every conversation, and every decision.

Not because He needs an invitation to be present—but because I don't want to go anywhere He isn't.

Some mornings, I'm standing in front of the mirror curling my hair, feeling exhausted, frustrated with what I see, and wondering why nothing seems to look right.

I'll quietly pray, "God... I'm tired."

Then my seven-year-old daughter walks into the room, looks at me, and says, "Mommy, you don't need makeup. You're already beautiful. Let's go!"

I smile because I know exactly what just happened.

God used the voice of my little girl to remind His daughter that her worth was never found in a mirror.

That's who He is.

Other days, I'm staring at dirty dishes, piles of laundry, papers on the counter, and toys scattered everywhere, and I begin criticizing myself.

"If I were more disciplined..."

"If I had a better routine..."

"If I were more organized..."

"If I were a better wife... a better mom..."

The accusations begin piling up just like the dishes.

Then the Holy Spirit gently reminds me of Martha and Mary.

Martha was distracted by everything that needed to get done, while Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10:38–42).

And I remember...

Maybe my house isn't perfect because yesterday I chose presence over perfection.

I chose to play with my children instead of cleaning.

I chose worship instead of productivity.

I chose to sit with Jesus.

The enemy tells me I need to do more.

But God whispers, "Be still." (Psalm 46:10)

So I stop agreeing with the lies and begin agreeing with the truth.

Because nothing is more important than being with Him.

That's what I mean when I say God is alive.

It's not only in the big miracles.

It's in the little moments.

Sometimes I'll ask Him to remind me that He's near, and I'll literally look up at the sky.

A rainbow appears after an afternoon storm.

The clouds suddenly part, and sunlight breaks through at just the right moment.

While walking my dog, I'm pouring out my heart to Him, wondering if He really cares about the little things weighing on me.

Then a butterfly crosses my path.

Or a bird flies overhead.

And I'm reminded of Jesus' words:

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care... So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29–31)

If He cares for the sparrows...

He certainly cares for me.

Sometimes I'm driving home after a difficult conversation. I haven't even prayed out loud. I've only whispered the thoughts of my heart.

Then the very next song that plays speaks directly to what I had just been talking to God about.

The lyrics answer the prayer I never spoke aloud.

That's not coincidence.

That's relationship.

There have been many times when I've felt discouraged, lonely, or overwhelmed. I've cried out to God for encouragement, and within minutes a friend texts, "You've been on my heart today."

Or someone I haven't heard from in months reaches out "just to check on me."

Every single time, I'm reminded:

God heard me.

He sees me.

He knows exactly what I need.

My husband and I have had countless conversations about areas where we want God to continue strengthening our marriage.

Then we walk into church on Sunday, and the sermon is about the very thing we've been discussing.

Not because anyone knew our conversation.

But because the Holy Spirit faithfully leads His people to deliver exactly the message we need.

Just recently, I prayed silently for something very specific—something I didn't even know if I was worthy to ask for. I actually apologized to God while praying and asked Him to make me worthy someday.

A few days later, a friend reached out and said, "God has been telling me to give this to you."

It was the exact gift I had prayed for.

The exact gift.

In that moment, I felt the Lord gently whisper,

"You are My daughter. You don't have to earn My love. You don't have to earn My gifts. You belong to Me."

Those moments have become countless.

Too personal.

Too specific.

Too perfectly timed to explain away as coincidence.

That's why I know God is alive.

Because He speaks to me.

He encourages me.

He corrects me.

He comforts me.

He guides me.

He carries me.

He loves me.

He's my Father.

He's my Friend.

Honestly, He's the best relationship I have.

We have inside jokes.

We talk all day long.

I can't imagine doing life without Him.

He is that real.

He isn't asking me to come to Him perfect or to perform for Him.

He's simply inviting me to be with Him.

Jesus said,

"Abide in Me, and I in you." (John 15:4)

The more time I spend with Him, the less my life becomes about me and the more it becomes about Him.

I begin trusting Him instead of my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5–6).

His words become my words.

His peace becomes my peace.

His love overflows into the people around me.

My prayer is that when people see me, they don't see someone who has it all together.

They see someone who walks closely with Jesus.

If you've ever wondered,

"God, are You there?"

"Are You still alive?"

"And if You are... why would You care about someone like me?"

Hear this today:

You are deeply loved.

Jesus did not come to earth, die on the cross, and conquer death for everyone except you.

He came for you.

He is the Good Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to find the one (Luke 15:3–7).

You matter to Him.

If you seek Him, you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13).

If you trust Him and acknowledge Him, He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5–6).

The truth is...

He's been with you all along.

He's been speaking.

He's been pursuing you.

He's been loving you.

He's simply waiting for you to recognize His voice and walk through life with Him.

Because that's where I continue to find God.

Every single day.