Pastor Aaron Olinski

If you struggle with patience, you are not alone. Whether it is the slow driver in the left lane or the coworker who never follows through, impatience seems to be woven into the fabric of everyday life. But what if your impatience is not just a personality trait? What if something deeper is driving it, something that is blocking God's love from fully saturating your life?

In 1 Corinthians 13:4, Paul writes three words that stop us in our tracks: "Love is patient." Three words, and yet they carry the weight of everything God is calling us to become.

God and Love Are the Same

Here is where it gets personal. If God is love, and love is patient, then God is patient. That is not just theology. That is an invitation. We are called to love others by being patient with them, because patience is an expression of the very nature of God flowing through us.

But let's be honest. Most of us are not naturally patient people. I am not patient. I will be the first to admit it. I have a couple of areas where my impatience shows up loud and clear.

One is driving. Slow left-lane drivers cause me stress. If we are on I-95, there are three lanes. The far right lane is for those of you going 70 miles an hour, following the speed limit. That is great for you. The middle lane has that unspoken rule: 70 to 79. But my lane, the far left? That is 80 and above. So do us all a favor and move over.

The other area is wanting people to do what I want them to do, when I want them to do it. I realize that is a little controlling, and if I asked you, there would probably be a lot of hands up for that one too. Sometimes I have unrealistic expectations, and maybe you do as well.

Does Impatience Mean We Lack Love?

So here is the real question: does being impatient mean we lack love? It is possible that a barrier or obstacle is causing that impatience. And that barrier might be sin.

Sin in our lives creates a disconnect from our Heavenly Father, who is love and who is patient. That disconnect can prevent God's love from penetrating our entire being. His love is meant to saturate every part of us, but when something is in the way, it inhibits our ability to express patience.

Your impatience might be rooted in entitlement or bitterness. Maybe you expected God to give you the job. It came down to two people, you and someone else, and they got it. You prayed, and it did not go your way. Maybe you expected your business to make it. You sought after God, you were convinced it was your future, and it did not work out.

Now there are unrealistic expectations, entitlement, and resentment. You may lack trust in the Lord as a result of the areas where you think He did not follow through. You doubt His ability and His willingness to answer your prayers. And that resentment is residing deep inside you.

The Wall of Resentment

It is possible that you have constructed a wall of resentment against God and against other people. You are comfortable keeping things conditionally the way you want them. But when things change, you are not okay with it. There is a deep pit of bitterness that resides inside of you.

That bitterness might be toward another person. It could be your dad. Right now, as we talk about resentment and bitterness, the image of your father comes up, and there is pain associated with things you had hoped he would be and do, but he was unable. It could be your mom. You needed her love and compassion, and she was unable to give those things.

It could be your spouse. You celebrated Valentine's Day together, and yet, if we were to dig down into the root of your heart, there is a root of bitterness you are holding against the person you exchanged rings and vows with. It could be your ex, and every time you have to drop the kids off, something escalates inside. It could be a brother or sister who let you down. It could be family.

The Pain Might Be Understandable

It is very possible that this resentment you are harboring is due to their own struggles. They were unwilling, unable, or had toxicity in their lives. They did not have the ability to love you the way you longed for and desired. That is very real.

But that resentment is hindering you from receiving God's love. It is a barrier in your life right now, and it is preventing you from loving other people. This is real. This is raw.

How Forgiveness Unlocks Patience

Here is what needs to happen. Picture the person you are resentful toward right now. See their face. Remember what they did. Acknowledge the scars you still carry, the wounds that are still open, the issues and problems from those relationships.

And then make this declaration: I forgive them.

Forgive them for the pain they caused. Release them. In that releasing, understand that the greatest way we can experience God's love is by forgiving another person. Let them off the hook. Replace bitterness with patience.

This is a spiritual transaction. Replacing bitterness with patience, replacing resentment with God's love, is profound. Allow that to change your life.

Adjusting Our Expectations

On a practical level, some of us need to adjust our expectations. Human beings are going to let us down. There is going to be pain that we walk through. But we need to know that God is in control, even when we feel out of control.

When we release the bitterness, when we forgive the people who have hurt us, something shifts. The barrier comes down. God's love begins to flow freely again, and patience, real patience, becomes possible. Not because we white-knuckle our way through frustration, but because His love is finally free to saturate every part of who we are.