Pastor Aaron Olinski

When we talk about having the best year ever, it's natural to focus on goals, dreams, and fresh opportunities. But just as important as what we want to start is what we need to stop. One of the most crucial truths we often overlook is the need for self-control, and not just any self-control, but the kind that comes from the Holy Spirit.

When Self-Control Slips

We've all seen someone lose control, maybe in a heated moment or a public meltdown. And let's be honest, sometimes it's easier to laugh when it happens to someone else. But when it happens to us, the consequences are real. Maybe you've blown up at your spouse, lashed out at your kids, or lost it on a coworker. Sometimes it's not even anger. It could be impulsive spending, or just giving in to something you know isn’t healthy.

The truth is, every time we lose self-control, there’s a cost. You might have to return those impulsive purchases, but the deeper damage often comes in relationships, with others and with God. When we’re not walking in self-control, it affects our connection with our Heavenly Father.

The Fruit of the Spirit Starts with Surrender

In Galatians 5:22-23, we read: "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

Self-control is listed last, but let’s be honest, it’s often the hardest one to live out. There are moments when we’re doing well, holding strong, and then suddenly we’re off the rails. We need to recognize that losing self-control not only hurts us but also harms others, and it disconnects us from God.

Sometimes we know exactly what the right thing is, and we still choose otherwise. There’s a tug-of-war inside us, a pull toward sin. But that’s where the Holy Spirit steps in. He’s not just passively present in our lives. He fights for us. He gives us the power, authority, and ability to resist temptation and walk in holiness.

Self-control isn't about mustering more willpower. It's about surrendering more deeply to the Holy Spirit.

Jesus: The Ultimate Example of Self-Control

One of the most powerful displays of self-control in all of Scripture is found in the Garden of Gethsemane. On the night before His crucifixion, Jesus was praying with deep anguish. He asked His Father, "If there’s any other way..." a moment of raw honesty. He didn’t want to die. He knew the pain and suffering that lay ahead. And yet, even though He was innocent, He chose obedience.

He allowed Himself to be betrayed, arrested, beaten, tortured, and crucified.

That’s self-control.

Not because He lacked power, but because He chose love. Jesus willingly gave His life for us, showing us that true self-control is not weakness. It’s divine strength.

What Self-Control Looks Like in Everyday Life

So what does this look like practically?

It means choosing not to respond with sarcasm or passive aggression when someone pushes your buttons. It means leaving the party when things start to go sideways. It means saying no to that show or movie that will pull your heart and mind in the wrong direction.

Self-control says, "That’s not for me."

And again, this isn’t about having more grit. It’s about leaning into the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:12-13 reminds us: "You have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live."

If the Spirit has the power to raise Jesus from the dead, then He certainly has the power to give you victory over temptation.

Making Drastic Changes. Today.

If this year is truly going to be your best, then some things need to change.

For some of you, that means breaking free from long-standing habits. Maybe it’s time to quit smoking or give up vaping. These are not easy changes. But through the power of the Holy Spirit, they’re possible.

If you’re battling with sexual sin, whether it’s pornography or unhealthy relationships, then it’s time for drastic steps. Maybe that means setting up screen time limits on your phone, or shutting it down altogether at night. That’s what self-control looks like in action.

For others, it might be confronting addiction. If alcohol is becoming a coping mechanism, the road to freedom is hard. But it’s available. The night sweats, nausea, and anxiety that come with detoxing aren’t just physical battles. They’re spiritual ones. And the Holy Spirit can empower you to endure and overcome them.

Breaking Generational Cycles

There are some patterns that run deeper than our own choices. Generational cycles, like chronic anxiety, divorce, abuse, or poverty mindsets, can pass from one family member to another. But those patterns do not have to define you.

If your grandmother worried constantly, your mother did too, and now you find yourself living in fear and stress, that cycle can be broken.

If divorce has plagued your family for generations, or if there's a history of financial lack or spiritual confusion, know that you do not have to carry that burden any longer.

Even involvement in horoscopes, crystals, New Age beliefs, or witchcraft, these are not harmless. They open doors to darkness. But through the Holy Spirit, we can close those doors and step into freedom.

God offers us new life. But in order to receive it, we must push out what is toxic and invite in what is holy.

From Self-Control to Discipleship

As you walk this out, you can't do it alone. That’s why community matters. That’s why we encourage people to join a group, because real discipleship happens in relationships. You need accountability, encouragement, and people who will walk with you as you grow.

Serving others also plays a role. When you take the focus off of yourself and begin to give, love, and serve your community, God does something transformative in your heart. He builds character, compassion, and maturity.

This isn’t just about going to church once a week. It's about becoming a disciple. That’s where the real life change happens.

Faith Is Just the Starting Line

Some of you may be thinking, “I believe in Jesus. That’s enough, right?” And that is a great place to start. But it’s just that. A start.

If salvation is the starting line, then spiritual growth is the race. We are called to grow, to obey, and to live righteously. And it’s self-control, powered by the Spirit, that keeps us from drifting back to our old ways.

If you’ve been stuck in the same cycle for years, the breakthrough you’ve been longing for is possible.

But it starts with a decision.


It starts with surrender.


And it starts today.

Let the Holy Spirit produce self-control in you, not by your effort, but by His power. That’s how we step into freedom. That’s how we walk into the best year ever.